


Expressions of Insanity

by Forever_in_Your_Heart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Gen, Letters, Mostly friendship, Multi, but defnitely romance too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2082024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_in_Your_Heart/pseuds/Forever_in_Your_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the second war has arrived and Alicia Spinnet sends her friends a million and one letters. What, a girl's allowed to be worried alright? Also, they respond. Shenanigans ensue. (Then again, don't they always?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September 25, 1997

**Author's Note:**

> You know what sucks? I had picked out individual fonts for each character's writing and now I can't use them. Also, this was like fifteen pages on word, seems a lot shorter here.

_Received by Alicia Spinnet on September 25, 1997_

 

Dearest Leeshie,

Stop sending me so many letters! I barely have any free time to start with and then I get home and find a pile of letters as big as Fred’s ego on my table! There are so many things I’d rather be doing than answering a million letters about your crazy. I adore you Leesh, I really do, but if you send me another pile of post as tall as Ollie, I’ll hunt you down myself. I’m alive and I plan on staying that way. So calm yourself, you silly ninny. And think about all the trees you must’ve massacred for all this parchment. Weren’t you the one who was always blathering on about the environment? You should be ashamed. Alright, I’ve got sleeping to do, so love you lots,

Angie

 

_Leesha,_

_Hey! Got all your letters!_

_Training is unbelievably hard! And I thought nothing could be worse that pre-dawn practice conducted by torture master Ollie Wood! Then again, he is on P-United so maybe he’s been giving our hellish trainer some tips. Wouldn’t be surprised, he always seems to have taken some sort of sick pleasure out of watching us suffer. So yes, it’s a nightmare._

_But it’s not all bad; I mean I’m on the reserve team of a professional Quidditch team! And the boys here are hunky, so I can’t really complain. Especially when I get to catch a little peek in the shower! And don’t get all morally superior on me, I can’t help myself, they’re all just so cute! You should come by one day, I’m sure I could get you an exclusive, if you know what I mean!_

_Ooo! Me and Ollie are going to catch dinner after practice on Wednesday, you should definitely come! Woody’s a doll but there’s only so much talk of Quidditch plays that I can handle at dinner. Maybe we can overwhelm him with our awesome? Or at least stun him into silence with silly girl babble. Whaddaya say? It’ll be buckets of fun, I promise!_

_You’d be my hero forever and ever! Thanks, you’re a peach! Have you heard from Georgie lately? We had a flu chat a while back and it seemed like something was bothering him, not that he’d admit it. Maybe you could work some Leesha magic and find out if something’s up or if he inhaled too many fumes during one of his and Freddie’s experiments? That’d be lovely._

_And Lee’s being all mopey. Angelina still won’t go out with him and he just can’t grasp that she still has the hots for Freddy Bear. Give him a flu, will you? He won’t listen to me.But you’re fabulous so he’s certain to listen to your wiseness._

_Alright, mum’s here and she’s bugging me for food so I’ll wrap this up! Give me a shout if you want that exclusive! And don’t forget, supper Wednesday! And chat with George and get your therapy on and give Lee a whack!_

_Love you darling,_  
 _Katie_

 

Leesh,  
I’m not mopey. I bet Katie’s told you I am but I’m not. So don’t listen to her rubbish, she’s crazy. And what’s with all the letters? I’ve never had so much post in my life! You’re making me feel so popular.  
Tune in this week to my little program will you? I’ve got all sorts lined up, should be grand.  
And George has been acting strange hasn’t he? Maybe you should talk to him. He always listens to the wise and mighty Leesh.  
Got to go now, duty calls, have I ever said how much I hate having a job?  
Talk to you soon,  
Lee

 

_Alicia,_

_Katie informs me you’re coming to dinner Wednesday. Could you mention to her that it would be nice if she asked me first instead of just springing it on me after she’s already invited you? It’s not that I mind, it’d just be nice to be consulted for once. And I’m fairly certain she tunes out most of what I say, so bring it up with her, would you? I’d appreciate it. I’m sorry I can’t write more, especially since you’ve practically flooded me with letters, but I want to get some extra practice in. I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday._

_Oliver_

 

Lovely Lee-Lee,

What to say? That I adore you? That I miss you? That my heart stops beating when you aren’t here?Or how about all 74 letters you sent me this week? Now, it isn’t that I don’t appreciate the fan mail and I know how difficult it must be for you to resist me, because, really, what woman can? But honestly, Lee-Lee dear, I think you might just have flipped your lid.

But that’s alright, lunacy’s never been more in style and if the only side effect of you going bonkers is an extremely high level of concern for yours truly, who am I to complain? And to assuage any fears you may have, I am in extremely fit condition and perfectly healthy, so nothing to worry your pretty head over, love. All is well and business is booming.

It appears a little cheering up is necessary in these dark days and who am I to refuse the adoring public? But you should consider popping over. I’ve missed my favourite shortie. Maybe I could fix you up with a love potion or two, help you snag yourself a boy toy? Not that I think you need the help, any boy would be silly not to fall for your charm and wit but it has come to my attention that you’ve never had a boyfriend, so I figured I could help.

Actually, never mind. No boy’s good enough for you, Leesharoo, and I’d like to preserve your innocence. Boys are dirty and gross and you should stay away from them. ‘Cept me of course, us being soul mates and all. So yes, darling, do pop over will you? Brighten up our shop with your sparkling personality? And maybe have a few words with dear Georgie? He’s been acting all nutty and since the hive mind seems to be offline, I’m hoping you and your ravishing self can straighten him out. You’ve always been gifted, Ali-love.

So send me an owl, save my soul and all that rubbish. I’ll be waiting.

Faithfully yours,

Gred

Or am I Forge?

 

_Leesh,_

_First, how’s munchkinland? All running smooth I hope Madam Mayor? Because even though you sent me seventy five letters (one more then Fred, hah ha!), you didn’t mention even a smidge of anything related to you. I read all those fabulous and eloquent letters and all I managed to gather is that you want to know how I’m doing. Honest, my lady love, 300 pages of parchment and all you did was express concern about my wellbeing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many ways to ask if I’m dead or not. Well done, old chap._

_Also, I know we’ve already discussed this but whatever Fred said, ignore it. We both know he’s got absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. It’s a well proven fact that I inherited the brains and Fred, well Fred didn’t. But anyway, moral of the story, don’t listen to Fred. He’s a blinking loon and we all know it._

_Now moving on from whatever lies Fred’s been spreading about me, I’m fabulous (as usual) and you’ve got nothing to worry about. But, if you’re in the mood to worry, worry about Lee. He’s been hanging around the shop looking like his dog’s been run over. Now, he of course insists he’s right and dandy but we all know he’s got a case of the “Angies”. Fred, of course, the ruddy bastard that he is, insists on bringing Ange up every chance he gets. And then Lee, while denying any romantic interest in her at all, mind you, starts moaning on about her. It’s getting to ridiculous levels. It’s hard to get any work done when I’ve got the most melodramatic rendition of teenaged romantic angst flinging itself around the shop…and my house. And Fred just keeps goading it on. He’s evil. Pure wicked evil._

_You’d think he might have a small measure of sympathy for Lee seeing as Lee’s only so upset (or not if you ask him, but, pray tell, why was he crying in my loo?) because the girl he loves is hot for Fred. Then again, I’ve always said Fred was the daft twin so maybe he’s too dense to see that Ange likes him in a way friends shouldn’t like each other. Like the “I wanna tear your pants off” way. I wouldn’t be surprised. But still, I see no reason to continue torturing Lee and me._

_I miss you; you should come for a visit. We could have a jaunt around the Alley; I might even buy you an ice cream. Maybe even a creamsicle, you’re favourite. I still haven’t gotten used to not seeing everyone every day. I know we graduated two years ago and I’m glad, school was never my idea of fun, well unless you count some of the absolutely brilliant pranks I pulled off….but anyway, I guess I just want to see more of everyone. Well, maybe not Lee, I could stand to see less of his wangst. And you certainly sound like you need a pick me up and it just so happens that I own a shop that specializes in putting smiles on people’s faces. And you could come for dinner at Casa Weasley, Mum would love having you over. She’s always had a soft spot for you and your lack of motherly love. And you’re a girl and Mum really enjoys boosting the estrogen levels in the house._

_Fred’s being a pain. I thought you should know. Maybe you should straighten him out. He’d like me to ask you how your friend Rebecca is doing and if she’s single. I plan on telling him she’s getting married, because I figure (1) He needs to sort things out with Angie (2) He’s being mean to Lee and deserves to stew in singleness for a bit in retribution and (3) We all remember the last time he dated Rebecca right?_

_So yes, she’s getting married to a lovely, handsome, chivalrous, strapping young man named Richard. He’s on his way to being Minister for Magic. And he happens to be a fabulous Quidditch player, but chose not to go professional so he could dedicate his time to helping the world. He likes to donate to charity. Very smart. Wonderful sense of humour. Filthy rich. What do you think? Sounds like quite a catch to me._

_I should probably go but not until you promise to come visit. Promise? Good. I’ll see you soon. Fred’s a pain._

_Your Knight in Shining Armour,_

_Sir George the Gorgeous (Gallant? Great? Grand?)_


	2. September 26, 1997

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alicia responds to her friends letters. Friends are lovely, aren't they? (You think they'd be a bit more appreciative of her love, wouldn't you? Pfft)

_Sent by Alicia Spinnet on September 26, 1997_

 

_Ange,_

_I’m sorry about my obsessive letter writing, honest. I’m just so worried about everyone. Healer training keeps me so busy I barely see any of you. I’ll try and lessen the flood but no guarantees. And don’t even try and say you don’t love all the attention because you do. You’ve always been a spotlight slut. But don’t worry, I love you anyway. Oh and just a question dearie. You still hung up on Fred?_

_Cause if you are I have some advice._

_(1) Give up and move on. It’s been how long? And what has Fred done? Asked you to the Yule Ball like 3 years ago? Find a boy who actually appreciates how gosh darn fabulous you are alright?_

_(2) Make a move on him you bloody buffoon! Fred’s a boy, if you want him to know you’re interested, tell him! Hit on him! Or something! You can’t just wait for him to realize you pine endlessly for him!_

_I say this with all the love in the world. Fred’s a bit daft. Take matters into your own hands. GIRL POWER!_

_I love you love you love you,_

_Leesha_

_Katie!_

_I’d like to be the adult and decline from that exclusive but I don’t have the will power. Expose me to the hunkyness! About dinner, it sounds fab. I miss you and Ollie both and it’s always fun to confound the boy with girlish shenanigans. Maybe we should discuss attractive men again. That seemed particularly effective last time._

_So, speaking of boys, anyone particular in your life? Well sides Ollie. Then again, if you never find anyone, you could always marry Oliver. The way you behave around each other is much like an old married couple already. That’s it! I call it. You and Ollie are going to get married and have the most quidditch savvy babies in the world. I’m nominating myself as maid of honour and I’ll commence planning immediately._

_Lee claims he isn’t mopey in the slightest but yes, I am calling bullshit. My brain is already mapping out a therapy letter. George also shares your Lee-worries, though in his own way. He didn’t seem off in his letter but I distrust parchment so I’ll check him out. And not that way, though maybe I will anyway cause I’m still single and probably always will be. At least I’ll always have you. And pity dates from Lee. Is it pathetic that I’ve had more pity dates with Lee than real dates? Because I think it is._

_I love you like my other half and I’ll see you Wednesday! I’ll bring the wedding plans, that’ll baffle Ollie real good._

_Leesh :)_

_Lee,_

_I’ve received several letters concerned with your well being. All these letters come from people who care about you deeply and want you to get better. I know it may seem difficult, but I want you to open up to me. I’m here to help you. This is a place where you can feel safe._

_Yours truly,_

_Alicia Spinnet, Therapist_

_PS I listen to you every night, it’s like my religion._

_PPS You should feel popular; you’re the rock star of my dreams._

_PPPS If you talk to me about Ange, I’ll give you cookies. Yum cookies. :)_

_Oliver,_

_I’ll be sure to take it up with Katie._

_I can’t wait to see you Wednesday, you Quidditch Star, you. I feel so blessed, having dinner with a celebrity and all._

_Oh, on another note, I’m going to be the maid of honour at your wedding to Katie. I thought you should know. Who would you like to be your best man? I want to coordinate._  
 _Thanks._

_See you soon,_

_Alicia_

_Fred, you handsome devil,_

_I’ve missed you terribly. Going on without you is near impossible, but I persevere, all in the hope that I will one day see you again._

_Also, George wants you to stop torturing Lee. And I agree. You should be ashamed. Lee is sad and unhappy and if you were a real friend you wouldn’t twist the knife of pain any deeper than it already is. I’m very disappointed in you Forge and I expect you to deliver a full apology to Lee immediately._

_I hear you’re interested in Rebecca. I regret to inform you that she is about to be married. And they’re soul mates, they really are. I’ve never seen two people so in love._

_I think I may be tempted to take you up on that love potion offer. Single life is nowhere near as fun as others would have you believe. Why doesn’t anybody love me? I’m lovable, aren’t I?_

_On an unrelated note, my neighbour saw a picture of you in my flat and would like an introduction. You interested? I could set you up. Gosh, I’m such a pimp. Actually, that’s not so unrelated is it? How can so many people want you? And why doesn’t anybody want me?_

_I’ve decided I’m coming to visit the first chance I get. I need some Weasley in my life. I’m positively lost without you. How’s the whole wonderful bunch doing? Would they mind if I adopted them all? And if so, will you marry me?_

_I await your answer,_

_Your fair lady,_

_Alicia Spinnet, Duchess of the Worst Flat in London_

_Sir George the Gorgeous, Gallant, Great and Grand,_

_I am worrying myself positively wretched. And the reason I didn’t include that in the content of my 75 letters is that I assumed you were of a high enough level of intelligence that you could figure it out yourself. Silly me. I expect too much. :)_

_I am, you will be happy to know, continuing your Rebecca related charade. Though do you think Fred will be offended when he doesn’t receive an invitation? I suppose they might be having a very small wedding, family only. Amusingly enough, a Richard happens to live directly below me and if we ever need someone to pose as Rebecca’s husband-to-be, I could most definitely arrange it._

_You are, of course, my one true love and I miss you terribly and I most definitely want, no, demand that creamsicle. I will be coming to collect as soon as is possible and you best be prepared to deliver on your promises Mr. Weasley._

_I’ve already contacted Lee and expect a speedy reply and I will take appropriate measures thereafter. I’ve also delivered Fred a scathing tell–off regarding his positively dreadful treatment of poor Lee. I expect you to report on whether or not he heeds my warnings. If not I will be forced to summon the full extent of my divine wrath. Be sure you inform Fred that there will be extreme consequences should he choose to continue his unjustifiable mistreatment of one Mister Lee Marcus Jordan, who as my main source of pity dates, is strictly under my protection from harm of any sorts. Make sure you are very clear, I’d hate for some miscommunication in such a serious matter._

_I understand how you feel about missing everyone. It still doesn’t feel right waking up in a room all by myself every morning. And all of you, my beautiful demented family, are very much missed. I always find myself encountering a situation that I want to tell one of you about, but it’s so much more a hassle now. And I miss just being able to play a round of exploding snap with someone if bored. I am now being forced to entertain myself, which has lead me to the discovery that I am not very entertaining. You really should have told me and then I wouldn’t have had to embarrass myself in front of myself. But I am serious. I miss all of you so much. We need to get together more often; I’ve right near lost my mind, as my obsessive letter writing disorder has probably informed you._

_You wouldn’t happen to have a spare room in that flat of yours you’ve been hiding, have you? If no, I could always share with one of you. I happen to be a fabulous sleeping companion. I promise._

_I miss you. Tell me everything. How are you, what’ve you been up to, is anything bothering you, etc._

_I know you think it`s just me being silly with all these letters but I’m scared George. Scared of what’s going on. I’m terrified for you and Fred and everyone else. I always hear rumours of awful things happening in Diagon Alley and every time I’m paralysed with thoughts that something happened to one of you. A part of me thinks I should move away from the epicenter of all this muggle/muggleborn hatred, what with my only connection to witchyness being my muggleborn mum. It’s only a matter of time before the new Death Eater loving ministry rounds all us up and gets rid of us. I hate living all by myself and having nothing better to do than think all these terrible things. I want everything to go back to how it used to be, when everything was safe and carefree._

_Gosh, I’m sorry. I’m such a Debbie Downer. I didn’t mean to be so mopey. Then again, I wonder if it’s even safe to write things like this. Who knows who might be intercepting my mail._

_I’m going to shut up now with my stupid talk._

_I love you, I miss you and I can’t wait to see you._

_Peaches and Cream, dear boy,_

_Alicia_


	3. September 28, 1997

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are fab, boys are dumb and Oliver Wood is a sadist (but we all knew that already)

Received on September 28, 1997

 

Leesha my Leesh,

In the interest of our friendship, I shall ignore the comment about my sluttyness in relation to the spotlight. (And what're you talking about you charms class hooker?) Also, you shouldn't make promises you can't keep, we all know you're not even gonna try and lessen the flood. I can smell your knickers burning from here. And while I appreciate your recognition of my fabulousness, it's a lot harder than it sounds, alright? I mean it's FRED, he's my mate and if I make a move, it could implode and ruin everything. Anyway, boys are idiots and we're better off just running off together. Speaking of which I may have scored tickets to a certain someone's favourite quidditch team, just saying. I'm also thinking we should paint the town red afterward, kick some ass and break some hearts, you in?

Awesome, can't wait.

Angie

* * *

 Sent on September 28, 1997

 

_YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES MARRY ME YESSSSS BALLYCASTLE BATSSSSSSSSSSSSSS_

* * *

_Angelical Friend,_

_Um, I love you as my excited vomit letter probably told you. You are perfection, and going to rock a quidditch game with you and then girl powering through the streets afterwards is like my favourite pastime. So, yes most definitely yes, I will be there, I love you again and I was definitely serious about the proposal. Marry me, you goddess. (Also, don't tell Fred because I may have also proposed to him and well, awkward)_

_I love youuuuuuuu,_

_your favourite leesh_

* * *

_Okay hi, I know this is my third letter today but I realized that I haven't actually addressed the whole Fred thing and I totally could just wait until we see each other but no I can't, the urge is just too strong. Fred is dumb and I get why you're afraid but you shouldn't be. Because, instead of just launching in and reciting love poetry or something, you should test the waters. Engage in a little light flirting, drop a few hints and if he responds, then go girl, wrangle yourself that man and if he doesn't, admit defeat, move on and go wrangle yourself a different man._

_Also, I could interrogate him, but in a way that doesn't make it seem like your lusting after that red headed baboon. Also, I love you. Also, boys are dumb._

_Mwah,_

_Alicia_

* * *

Received on September 28, 1997

 

_Alicia,_

_I feel like I want to ask about this "wedding" but on the other hand, no I probably don't. I'm going to assume this is just one of your jokes that'll blow over if I ignore it. I've got a meeting to go to now, I'm trying to convince our trainer that pre-dawn practice is definitely worth it. Maybe you could write in, explain how well it worked in school?_

_Thanks,_

_Oliver_

_PS Should I be afraid?_

* * *

Sent on September 28, 1997

_Be afraid Ollie. Always be afraid._

_You know you love me,_

_Alicia_

_PS Hell no, pre-dawn practice is evil you sadist._


	4. September 28th, 1997-Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lee is a dirty liar and Katie might be feeling nostalgic. (maybe...)

_Received on September 28th, 1997_

Alicia Spinnet, Therapist,

Trust me, your talents aren’t needed here. I don’t know what rubbish Katie’s been spreading, but I’m more than fine. I’m a bloody star on the wireless! And that’s just my day job. 

Ange is just my mate and that’s brilliant, honest. No need for any therapy.

We should have lunch or something sometime, catch up and stuff. I’ve missed you Leesh, being a working man seriously cuts into my social life. 

I’ll be seeing you then,

Lee

PS I mentioned Ange, do I get cookies?

* * *

 

_Leeeeeesha!_

_I love it! The wedding plans’ll get Ollie real good! Also, also, have you talked to Lee yet? I bet he’s told you I’m lying and making up rubbish, but he’s the one lying, promise. He’s a nasty pest, isn’t he? I cannot wait for dinner on wednesday! Training is absolutely hellish, why did I ever want to be a professional quidditch player again? Speaking of, how’s healer training going? Must be tough, no wonder you’re always so stressed out!_

_Definitely, definitely you should come for that exclusive. It’s a guaranteed de-stresser. Ollie’ll be all bashful if we get a look at him, and a flustered Ollie Wood is always a good time!_

_I’ve decided we should see each other at least once a week, so we need to start planning next week’s rendezvous, asap! We should rope Ange in too, the more the merrier!_

_I have so much more to say but I am absolutely exhausted. Training is actually hell. It’s starting to make Ollie’s Hogwarts practices look like cake walks. Ugh._

_See ya soon love,_

_Katie_


End file.
